Miss Manners: Should we give any warning before our shiny new fence goes up?

DEAR MISS MANNERS My husband and I bought our home about four years ago The house is about years old and the backyard is surrounded by a standard wooden fence Related Articles Miss Manners This evil woman will be at the funeral and I need to know my options Miss Manners I backed out of their birthday trip Do I still have to pay Miss Manners All people in the DMV line were wearing pajamas I ascertained it disgusting Miss Manners It turns out I was too quick with my thank-you note Miss Manners She won t shut up about how fat I am I m months pregnant with her grandchild The condition of the wood suggests the fence has been there nearly as long as the house and we think it desperately demands to be replaced Two of our neighbors have fences that adjoin ours and which based on condition were built around the same time Even though it s our right to replace our fence do we owe any consideration to the neighbors After all our shiny new fence will now be abutting the well-worn ones surrounding their yards I don t want to imply that I m asking their permission because we intend to replace it regardless But is it worth giving them a heads-up that we re having the work done Is there a way to suggest the possibility of them also having their fences replaced without it sounding insulting I assume that having theirs replaced at the same time by the same company might save a little money as the workers and materials will already be on site but I m not sure if this is worth bringing up We have good relationships with all of the neighbors and don t want to create animosity or awkwardness where there isn t any GENTLE READER When anyone wishes to express indignation about an unwelcome encroachment the accepted metaphor is not Can you believe So-and-so was in my living room uninvited playing my piano The expression is Can you believe this was going on in my own backyard Miss Manners mentions this as a reminder that if you want to maintain good relations with the neighbors you will absolutely have to be considerate which means giving notice of your plans reassuring them that you are available to handle any unintended inconveniences that development taking no for an answer to any suggestion that they consider redoing their own and spending less time thinking about what you have a right to do Fortunately it is achievable to do all of this without putting the central question up for debate Tell them that you are planning to replace your fence and say that while you have no idea if they were planning to redo theirs if they are you would be happy to see if using a single contractor would be a way for everyone to save money Related Articles Asking Eric I don t like church crafts or dating What are my options for finding a friend Harriette Cole Is it unrealistic to date a man who lives more than an hour away Miss Manners This evil woman will be at the funeral and I need to know my options Dear Abby My ex gave his dog to a family and didn t tell them about the biting Asking Eric I think my wife should stop trying to fix the kids vacation plan DEAR MISS MANNERS I was working with an older woman and we hit it off very well Her eyes were noticeably red and my ophthalmologist had suggested an over-the-counter product for me that works beautifully and is safe to use I was tempted to tell her about it but thought that it might be embarrassing for her if I mentioned her eyes Did I do the right thing by being silent or did I miss an opportunity to do someone a favor GENTLE READER Yes Possibly Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website www missmanners com to her email gentlereader missmanners com or through postal mail to Miss Manners Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO