Miss Manners: Why wouldn’t my neighbor just say something about the ivy?

DEAR MISS MANNERS I discovered what looked like a batch of pruned vines in my backyard There is selected ivy that grows on the walls shared by several of us in proximity and it appears the neighbors behind us cut the pieces that were hanging in their yard and tossed them over into ours Related Articles Miss Manners Is it wrong to warn a foolish stranger about theft risks Miss Manners I refuse to be part of their Christmas list ritual Miss Manners Is it rude to talk on one s phone in a population place Miss Manners My online photo ban draws a confounded response Miss Manners I think it s hurtful to ban children from weddings Our pediatrician agrees While I am constantly willing to help our neighbors I thought it rude of them to toss the mess into our yard What is wrong with people that they feel they cannot approach their neighbors to ask if we could cut the plants or for any favor for that matter By the way this neighbor also drilled a foot-high eyebolt to help patio lights into the shared block wall without mentioning it or otherwise considering us Sadly this subject of action is just another example how neighborly etiquette has gone out the window GENTLE READER You mention the eyebolt in passing but it is at the root of the issue Too multiple homeowners if required why they did not approach a neighbor about a planned improvement exaggerate reasonable amounts of selfishness and fear into worst-case scenarios It s really not up to them what color curtains I have becomes I have an absolute right to do what I want with my house while I d rather not be yelled at by someone I barely know becomes What if they have a gun But the link between not talking to the neighbors and the breakdown in civility is cause and effect Why be considerate of someone you barely know Miss Manners approach would be to find an excuse to do one or two things that require minimal effort but are neighborly such as turning over mail meant for them but misdelivered to you in person rather than throwing it at the window as you leave the driveway These days such things are so unexpected they should make your neighbor think twice next time they are pruning the vines DEAR MISS MANNERS My wife and I have a difference of opinion about emails sent from do not reply addresses I say that in principle they display poor manners They are akin to saying something to somebody and then putting your hands over your ears and repeating I can t hear you like children do Now I understand why a business or nonprofit or scammer or spammer would want to send out thousands of emails without accepting replies which they might be obligated to respond to But I say if you start a dialogue by sending me an email then you should be ready to continue the dialogue by letting me reply GENTLE READER The reason you cite not having to monitor responses to automated bulk commercial emails is indeed why do not reply email addresses were invented Related Articles Why did FedEx charge me to ship luggage it couldn t deliver Asking Eric If I account my neighbor he ll know it was me Harriette Cole My friend s weight loss worries me Can I ask what s going on Miss Manners Is it wrong to warn a foolish stranger about theft risks Dear Abby I m still bothered by a lie my boyfriend explained years ago Miss Manners notes this because she finds that new hardware requires new etiquette much less frequently than technophiles imagine The pre-internet equivalent is the sign on the company warehouse that reads This is the company s central shipping facility If you are looking for retail sales or customer amenity please call this number If there are limitations on the sender s ability to respond it is not rude to say so so long as they provide alternative means But you should certainly object if your wife proposes to hang such a sign on the front door Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website www missmanners com to her email gentlereader missmanners com or through postal mail to Miss Manners Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO